Tall Tales and Short Stories
Lyrics © 2005 Tony MacLaren

LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS SONG INSIGHTS:

This is a story about coming of age and the ‘sinking feeling’ of the parents as they watch their sweet daughter grow up and leave the safety of the nest for a night out on the town with a handsome suitor with questionable intentions.

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1. LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS
Tony MacLaren © 2004

(V1) I’m so happy as can be
Baby’s bouncing off your knee
Going out dancing, we might be late
Cause your sweet little daughter
is a going on a date

(V2) She’s so hot I can’t explain
She blows my mind, makes me insane
I’ll be at your door ‘bout eight
Cause your sweet little daughter
is a going on a date

(CH) Lock up your daughters
Hide them away
Lock up your daughters
Cause it won’t be long
Till she wants to run

(V3) She’s my honey she’s my mate
This tender flower I’ll pollinate
Going all the way, we just can’t wait
Cause your sweet little daughter
is a going on a date

(V4) Getting cozy it’s all good
I’ve begun to sport some wood
So mom and dad don’t wait up late
Cause your sweet little daughter
is a going on a date

(CH) Lock up your daughters
Hide them away
Lock up your daughters
Cause it won’t be long, till she wants to run

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SECRET RENDEZVOUS SONG INSIGHTS:

A secret meeting and a wild night of partying, dancing and fun ends up being just the ticket for a marathon pajama party that lasts for days and nights and days .....

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2. SECRET RENDEZVOUS
Tony MacLaren © 2003

(V1) Singing, swinging
I didn’t get to sleep last night
Bling-bling, head ringing
I danced with my baby all night long
Mm , I danced with my baby all night long

(CH) A secret rendezvous
Party all day long
Another case of booze
I danced with my baby all night long

(V2) Steamy dance floor
Thrashing around the room
She begged for more
I danced with my baby all night long
I said I danced with my baby all night long-

(CHORUS)

(V3) Nonstop transaction
Shaking our bodies down
It’s a coming attraction
I danced with my baby all night long
Yes I said I danced with my baby all night long

(CHORUS)

(V4) Crack on the backside
She started in to moan and wail
Here comes the bride
I danced with my baby all night long
I said I danced with my baby all night long

(CHORUS)

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CELTIC WEDDING SONG INSIGHTS:  

Like a solitary flower growing out of solid black granite, this simple request for true love in a meaningless sea of ego is something that everyone with a heartbeat can relate to. A song to sing into the garden window of your loved one to serenade them into swooning into your awaiting arms.

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3. CELTIC WEDDING
Tony MacLaren © 2004

(V1) You shine like the Sun
You’re surely the one
Can’t help me for trying
To give you my love
You’re the fairest in all of the land
Won’t you join me and give me your hand

(Ch) Hi diddle ay oh
Hi diddle ay
To the one I adore so much more
With each and every day

(V2) I promise to love you
Forever I do
With this pledge I make
And this wedding band
To the fairest in all of the land
Won’t you join me
And give me your hand

(Ch) Hi diddle ay oh
Hi diddle ay
To the one I adore so much more
With each and every day 2x

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CHICKEN PICKEN SONG INSIGHTS:

A chicken picken journey takes our intrepid guitarist on a quest for his ideal chick a dee.
As long as she agrees to join him for some chicken picken (which is a term for this particular style of guitar playing) all will be well.

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4. CHICKEN PICKEN
Tony MacLaren © 2003

Gonna find me a chickadee, and dance all day
Kinda rolling and a tumbling in the hay
Going chicken picken, and I’m going today
I’m going chicken picken and I’m going to stay
Going chicken picken

(Guitar)

Gonna find me a chick a dee, who loves to play
Kinda singing and winging it, that’s ok
Going chicken picken and I’m going today
I’m going chicken picken and I’m going to stay
Going chicken picken

(Guitar)

Going to find me a chick a dee, who’ll take my hand
A cock a doodle doing, all across this land
Going chicken picken, won’t life be grand?
We’re going chicken picken, and I must demand
That we’re going chicken picken
Bawk!

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GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN SONG INSIGHTS:

A poignant song dedicated to the brave souls lost to the unforgiving tragedy of war and terror.

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5. GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
(MacLaren) © 2001

(V1) Hey there, say a prayer, let’s bow our heads
In one day, their souls were swept away
They’re all gone
They’re gone but not forgotten

(Chorus): Gone but not forgotten
It’s time to take a stand,
the whole damn world is out of hand
It’s time to realize, the people’s cry’s are no suprise

(V2) Hey there, Sing your songs, to praise heroes
They stood tall, even in the face of death
One for all
They’re gone but not forgotten

(Chorus): Gone but not forgotten
It’s time to take a stand,
the whole damn world is out of hand
It’s time to realize, the people’s cry’s are no suprise

(V3) Hey there, say a prayer, to heal our hearts
We’re one world, we live here together
One for all
They’re gone but not forgotten

(Chorus): Gone but not forgotten
It’s time to take a stand,
the whole damn world is out of hand
It’s time to realize, the people’s cries are no surprise

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FAERIE TALE SONG INSIGHTS:

A young man grows up with his invisible friend,  guardian angel, confidant and imaginary lover.
As he gets older, his peers remind him that faeries aren’t real and he should suppress them and block them out,which he does. Time passes and he forgets all about his beloved childhood friend. On his last breath in his deathbed, he wonders why she left him and she replies “I’ve always been in here, I was only hiding”

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6. FAERIE TALE
( MacLaren ) © 1996

(V1) I think about you from time to time
As the years roll on, it’s like you’ve never gone
In the springtime you held me under the moonlight
I still remember like it’s yesterday,
You’d come over and say,”Can Tony come out and
play in the garden , amongst all the wildflowers?”

(CHorus): I see you in my mind so clear
I tremble at the thought that you’re near
I can feel your heart beating
I would move a mountain to see you again
I would count the stars in the sky for you
Tell me you’re no faerie tale again, I can’t believe my ears
Tell me you’re no faerie tale again Oh-

(V2) As I grew older it was time to change
It was time to give up all the things of childhood
Like the games in the garden, imaginary lover
Then they told me that you weren’t for real
and the thought of losing you
Just made me cry in the darkness, under the covers
I’ll never see you again

Solo

(V3) Now I’m old and near the end of my road
and I wish for your voice to come
and I hear you whisper
inside my head , into my deathbed
I lie awake and wonder if I’m sane
and I curse you for leaving me,
and you laugh and say,
“I’ve always been in here,
I was only hiding.”
(Last breath)
(Chorus)

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BILLY BEAN SONG INSIGHTS:

Our two main characters, good Billy Bean and his arch nemesis evil Sam, square off in a battle to the death over good and evil that will leave only one left alive to tell the tale.

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7. (THE STORY AND THE GLORY OF) BILLY BEAN
(MacLaren) © 1986

Well mean old Sam, he wore his guns to town,
He don’t care ‘bout the law round here
He had an axe underneath his filthy coat,
and a bullwhip and a dirty piece of rope
He had a knife stuck between his rotten teeth,
and he’s ornery, he wants to drink some booze and start a fight.

Now good Billy Bean, he was only seventeen,
he had good looks and his mind was into books
He rode his mule up the road to Sunday school,
and he taught himself about the golden rule.

Bad Sam rode into town on his old grey mare, while the town folks,
could only sit and stare at this man, standing six foot nine,
he wore his hair full of vermin, gnats and fleas,
He seldom bathed and he never shaved or brushed his teeth
And his clothes smelled like piss, what a guy.

Well good Billy Bean was sitting at the canteen,
He felt so grand with his Bible in his hand
He hummed a hymn, his mind so far from sin,
That’s when evil Sam kicked the door down and came in

This is the story of Billy Bean, Best damn kid that you’ve ever seen
Folks from miles around would say,
Just remember what happened that day.

Well Sam hated church, all he needed was one look
At Billy Bean reading his good book,
He crossed the room, over Billy he did loom,
He drooled a bit, on Billy’s Bible he did spit,
He drew his gun, told Billy he was done,
that evil Sam, he really shouldn’t a messed with the kid.

Now good Billy Bean, he said Sam, you’re obscene,
you done me wrong, but you’re not so strong
and from his Bible he pulled a Colt 45
and nailed old Sam right between the eyes.

That was the story of Billy Bean, Quickest damn kid that you’ve ever seen.
Now Sam is dead and God forbid,
He shouldn’t a messed around With Billy - Billy the Kid

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SPANK THE PLANK SONG INSIGHTS:

(i.e.: to vigorously and aggressively play and spank or slap the neck of the guitar also known as a plank)
This is a cautionary tale of a bitter music critic and the struggling guitarist who suffers the anguish of his ire, critiques and opinions. In a single moment of pure defiance the lowly guitarist  cries out: “So below me, I spank the plank!”

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8. SPANK THE PLANK
Tony MacLaren © 02

(The Critic) (V1) That's not commercial
Can't dance to that
Can't line my pockets, can't line my fat.
I don't hear a single, I do declare
If my purse don't jingle
You're outta here, You're outta here

(Me) (Chorus)
You know me, I spank the plank
Your finder's fees' not in the bank
You know me, I spank the plank
So below me, I spank the plank

(The Critic) (V2) It won't sell records
It's not a hit
You're too old, your music's Shit
That's too many notes, You play too rough,
Now go away, I've heard enough, I've heard enough

(Me) (Chorus)

(The Critic) (V3) There's no melody
Can't sing along
It's not a hit, it's not a song
It won't sell big, Can't pay our bill's
Y'all move along, Head for the hills, Head for the hills

(Me) (Chorus)

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THE WHISTLER SONG INSIGHTS:

Somewhere on a lonely street, in a lonely town, lies a lonely veteran, with nothing but memories of a shattered life and the comfort of his beautiful and beloved whistle!

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9. THE WHISTLER
Tony MacLaren © 1996

Johnny was a boy with the world at his feet
He had one gift, he could whistle like an athlete
He’d open his heart and the music poured out
It filled up the void that his life was about
So here was the man who thought he was a boy
He was a pawn of a soldier that they sent to Hanoi
He got caught in the crossfire that rained through the trees
His life flashed before him and he fell to his knees

He’s the whistler, he’s the whistler
He’s the whistler and he’ll whistle you a tune

When he got back from the Nam, he got a message from Uncle Sam
Who said “ Thanks for coming and we won’t forget”
He soon found out they were all full of shit
As time went on, everyone forgot
It seemed like the war was all for naught
But man he could whistle and as they walked up
Strangers would toss a coin in his cup
He’s the whistler and he’ll whistle you a tune

And the passerbys avert their eyes
and then sometimes they sympathize
As he whistles to no replies,from his wheelchair, his consolation prize.

He’s the whistler and he’ll whistle you a tune
And he'll hold his hand out to catch the doubloon
He’s the man in the moon, he’s crazy as a loon
He wraps himself in a newspaper cocoon

You can find him sleeping in a cardboard box
You can ask him what happened but he still never talks
But he'll whistle you a tune and it’s sure to make you smile
So toss him a coin every once in a while, He’s the whistler

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WHOA NELLY SONG INSIGHTS:

A condemned innocent man on the lam, riding fast, sweaty, and hard, as far away from the wretched, crooked judges and the relentless, corrupt long arm of the law as he can get. He has to dig down deep inside to summon the strength and speed to outrun the ones who are intent on capturing him, ‘dead or alive’.

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10. WHOA NELLY
TONY MACLAREN © 1997

(V1) Ride all night long
I’m racing to the dawn
Gonna leave the dust behind me
I’m out of control
They’ll never catch me

(CH) So go Nelly go
We’re moving too slow
I said go Nelly go
We’re moving too slow

(V2) Rolling down the line
Feel the road unwind
Gonna leave the pack behind me
I’m gone like the wind
They’ll never catch me

(CH) So go Nelly go
We’re moving too slow
I said go Nelly go
We’re moving too slow

(BRIDGE) Just hit the red and go….Nelly go…

(V3) Flying from the man, Catch me if you can
Gonna leave no tracks behind me
I’m gone like the wind
They’ll never catch me so go Nelly go

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RIVER OF KOANS SONG INSIGHTS:

A timeless, emotional and heart wrenching solo acoustic guitar masterpiece. A triumph in capturing the spirit and soul of the guitar itself. Shut your eyes and let the sweet melodies and strange mesmerizing poly rhythms sweep you away into a blissful and relaxing peace.

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11. RIVER OF KOANS
(instrumental)

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CHANTEY SONG INSIGHTS:

A lone man pining away for his lost love, standing on the precipice of a cruel unrelenting and unforgiving sea.
He still holds a spark of hope that she will be guided safely to his ‘lovelight’ and the comfort of his longing and loving arms.

12. CHANTEY
Tony MacLaren ©2003

(V1) I call your name, you do not hear
My voice is drowned out
By crashing waves and stormy seas
And icy winds a freeze
Oh can’t you hear, my distant cry
I reach out to the sky
I search for you both far and wide
My love will never die

(V2) You went away, you would not stay
Your ship was sailing out
You kissed my lips and waved goodbye
A tear welled in my eye
You sailed away, that cloudy day
The storm was growing nigh
I search for you, both far and wide
My love will never die

(V3) It’s been a year, I really fear
The sea has swallowed you
I sit and watch both night and day
For your return I pray
Oh can’t you hear, my distant cry
I reach out to the sky
I search for you, both far and wide
My love will never die

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